Picnic June 23

The weather was good, a bit on the cool side, and the food was a bit on the fattening side, but so what! About 40 people came, and we didn't lose money this year.

Dinner and a Movie

The next "Dinner and a Movie" is Sept. 30. If you have not been out to one, what are you waiting for?

Chi Delta Mu

CDM is on hiatus for the summer; the next meeting will be in September. Last month the meeting was about the plans for the summer (they will do some girls nights out contact then for details), plans for a spring dinner dance and the Pride parade in NYC.

Help needed
for new girl

I have been getting letters from a girl who can not come to meetings due to work. She only has Sunday and Monday off, and would be interested in any activities on those days.

If anyone can help, please let Pat know.

SUMMER VACATION

Summer, the time for a vacation. Dressed? Of course, what better way to spend a vacation?

If you drive, you should have little trouble, but mass transit can have problems. Plane, train or bus could cause an identification check that could be a problem. Check with your carrier in advance or travel in drab.

Border crossings are likely to be a problem no matter what you plan in advance as the individual you run into will be the final obstacle.

Hotels are less of a problem. The only time I was really questioned was in Laurel MD. "Is this your husband's license?"

What ever you do, have a good time.

August Meeting.

I am hoping to have a program for the August meeting on Wigs. More about this in the next newsletter.

A Doctor in the Community

Her name is Lisa O'Connor. The practice is Healthy Transitions, L.L.C., 1390 Valley Rd., Suite 1E, Stirling, NJ, 07980. 908-647-1688

Great CD things not yet invented.

There are many things that a girl could use that have not been invented.

Beard cover for hairy legs. Just spread it on and your legs are perfect for the summer but you can wash it off and you legs are still hairy.

Instant hair. No wig needed. Your hair grows instantly, even on baldheads, but can be rinsed off to return to you normal look.

Instant breasts. A pill that makes your breasts swell to any size you wants in a matter of minuets with a reverse pill for later on.

Instant body. A pill that reshapes your body. These would come in several varieties for the shapes you want. Hips, legs, waist or face. Maybe they could even come up with something for hands and feet.

The Voice pill. Pick your voice from a wide selection to match your mood for the evening.

The Cinderella Pill Use your own imagination on this one, like if it were to ware off while you were out? Would you look good as a pumpkin?

EZ - Trans Pass. Just wear it around your neck, pin it on, or put it in your pocket and nobody will read you.

So if any of you are looking for something to do this summer, get off your but and work on something like this, just don't for get the patent and to donate at least 10 percent to me.

HUMOR ?

Some quotes.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," --A congressional candidate in Texas

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President And .. "We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al Gore, VP

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman