Wives Meeting

The wives were able to meet in January and I believe that all was well.

Girls Night Out

Anyone wishing information about future NIGHT OUT events and dates should contact Alice.

New Members

We are always looking for new members. Any member may bring someone that they have meet. Please go out of your way to make a new member of visitor feel welcome and at home.

I have interviewed several in the past month and hoe that some will come to the meeting.

Programs

There will be no program this month as the weather could be a problem.

ANY IDEAS????

Anyone have an idea for a meeting?
October will be the Halloween Party and Dec. is the Christmas Party. We hope to get the picnic back to June. And the I.D. Cards will be in May. The rest of the year is open. If you have an idea, please give it to me. If you know of someone who can/will give a program, tell me. Lady Remington will be one of the months and we might try a trip to the Dress Barn if enough girls want to go.

Picnic

Alice has reserved the church for the picnic. The date is June 26, our normal June meeting date.

Christmas

I Contacted the Hotel about Christmas and have reserved the rooms for Dec. 11.

Dinner and a Movie

January's Dinner and a movie was Shopping, Dinner and a Movie. We started the night at the Dressbarn, then went to Denny's and then to the movie "Somethings gotta Give". That was the name of the movie and not a comment on the night.

We were the only shoppers in the store for most of the time, but a woman (A REAL ONE) did come in. She was behind us at the check out and everything went wrong. I asked her if she had ever thought that shopping could be this much fun. She said "No" and that her husband was waiting outside. I said we would "pick him up" on the way out and she laughed. On the way out I walked over to the car and told him his wife would be right out. We did not wait to see if E.M.S. had to be called.

HELP! WITH NEWSLETTER

For those who know me, this might come as a surprise, but I could use some help with articles for the newsletter. Simply email anything to me that might be of interest. Please keep it to about one half of a page as I do not have the time to edit and I can not put long articles in the newsletter.

HUMOR

Ordering Pizza in 2008

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your Office umber over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell umber's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@ mailto: Which number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"
Operator: "We're wired into the omeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."
Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."
Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday"
Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"