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Published June 2007

Don't Forget the Picnic June 23 at the Church, and the Christmas Party Dec. 15 , save the dates

Picnic June 23

Stacy is bringing one shelter. Cheryl is brining another one Robin will take care of the basics Burgers, hot dogs, buns, soda Pat will bring the plates, cups, Condiments, charcoal, one grill Coffee, milk. Still needed Salad, cake, covered dishes. Ideas WELCOME!

For directions, send email to Pat or Stacy.

Dinner and a Movie

The next "Dinner and a Movie" is June 30. If you have not been out to one, what are you waiting for? Final plans will be made at the picnic.

Chi Delta Mu

CDM is on hiatus for the summer, the next meeting will be in September. This month the meeting was about the plans for the summer (they will do some girls nights out), plans for a spring dinner dance and the Pride parade in NYC.

A Doctor in the Community

Her name is Lisa O'Connor. The practice is Healthy Transitions, L.L.C., 1390 Valley Rd., Suite 1E, Stirling, NJ, 07980. 908-647-1688

I have invited Lisa to come to our meetings. While transition is not something most of us consider, the emotional side is still something for us to thing about. I have gone to her myself. 

June 16   Renaissance King of Prussia

June 23   Sigma Nu Rho PICNIC At the 
             Washington Crossing Church

June 30   Dinner and a Movie

July   7   New Jersey Support at 
             Washington Crossing 

July  14  Chi Delta Mu  - NO MEETING
             Renaissance - Delaware
             Renaissance - Lehigh Valley

July  21   Renaissance  King of Prussia

July  28   Sigma Nu Rho

HUMOR ?

Oil Change instructions for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change..
2) Drink a cup of coffee
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:
Oil Change: $20.00 (Today it is approx.$30-35)
Coffee: $1.00
Total: $21.00

Oil Change instructions for Men:
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss..
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.


18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer.
33) Lower car from jack stands..
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
35) Beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!


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